So the past week or so I've been feeling really empty inside. I've been feeling lonely, exhausted and bored with life. We've all been through stages like this- maybe it's situational, maybe it's the weather, who knows?
Sometimes we blame God. But putting blame on God doesn't make you feel any better. And God does not ever purposefully make us feel miserable. God has done such amazing things for us! Just take a look at yourself in the mirror! God created you to be a beautiful and unique human being! Look back at all of the times that you didn't think you'd make it through.You're still here! :)
Despite my negative feelings, I am very thankful for this week! I have a large cast of 20 registered for the musical I am directing this summer with my non-profit organization Shooting Starz Productions! The largest cast our organization has ever had was 14 and that was 3 years ago. I prayed for new kids and God gave me that gift. I am still amazed and feel sad when I get phone calls or emails and have to turn away other interested families because our cast is full.
Another amazing way God has worked in my life is by helping me bring MTV stars Catelynn and Tyler to St. Cloud State University campus. I am the Vice President of the pro-life group on our campus, SCSU for Life. I started working on bringing Catelynn and Tyler to campus in January as an event for SCSU for Life. Our event happened last night. It as a HUGE success. We had a full auditorium and the beautiful message of life and adoption was shared along with their personal stories. I loved getting to meet Catelynn and Tyler and find out what amazing individuals they are. Although they are famous from 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom, they are normal people who are doing amazing things for teens all over the U.S. It was heartwarming to see how down to earth they are. So many pictures were posted after the event and so many students were touched by their story and were thankful that they got to come to our university. Their adoption counselor Dawn Baker, is a big inspiration to me. I am now going to look into adoption counseling as a future career.
When I woke up this morning , I realized I felt empty yet again. God has blessed my life over and over and yet I don't feel joyful or happy lately! I could wallow in self pity, or I could pray and continue on with my life. It can be difficult, but we have to remind ourselves that God is always with us!
We have all made it through many trials and we're still here! We can make it through even more by His grace!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
The book that has changed my life~
As a young woman who has suffered with depression and self-esteem, I know how hard it can be to be single. Many women who are single feel alone and worthless- but this of course in not the case!!
God's love for us is so intimate and unconditional! No human love can compare! So you may be thinking Are you crazy? An intimate relationship with God?!?!? At first I thought this was far-fetched as well. But one book has changed the way I see love.
My friend Angela gave me this book a month ago and I cannot stop raving about it. It is called Theology of Her Body/Theology of His Body by Jason Evert. It describes the beauty of man and the beauty of woman and how to live the life of greatness that God has destined for you. This book has touched my heart in a way that no other book has before. It feels like God wrote it just for me!
In the foreword of the woman's portion of the book it says "It seems to me that women very often find it difficult to embrace the gift of their femininity because of wounds caused by men who have failed to honor them" --almost every woman I know has been hurt or taken advantage of by a man. This is not to say that all men exhibit these behaviors. But unfortunately many do. But not all hope is lost!! There is true love out there ladies!
I learned 4 key things from this book:
1) A woman is a mystery to be revealed
"When a woman veils her body with modest clothing, she is not hiding herself from men. On the contrary, she is revealing her dignity to them. A woman's body is not unapproachable. Rather, she is opened only to the one who is worthy to enter." As a woman I am worth pursuing. God shows each of us this by simply getting to know Him! When we take time to read our Bibles, pray and attend church services we are rewarded with His love and feeling His presence. Many of us know that this can take a lot of time and patience, however. But it is all SO worth it!!
"Instead of looking for the ideal man, become the ideal woman and let him look for you" ~
2) Relationships
"A woman of God is more than single. She's singular. Instead of defining herself by what she lacks- a relationship with a man- she defines herself by what she has; a relationship with God" What a beautiful quote!
One should first have a good relationship with God.God is always faithful and true! He will never fail you! Many women place their trust in men when they can't even place their trust in the Lord. If we cannot trust our creator, how on earth can we place our trust in a human who is flawed?
"Without a foundation of God's love, a woman is far more likely to fall for men who are unable to love her as God does"
3) Women are a beauty to be unveiled
Women are a reflection of heaven's beauty! No wonder men can't take their eyes off of us! If you are struggling with appreciation for your appearance- remember that God created you in His image.
4) The mission of the woman
"The closer you get to Him, the more you will become yourself" - This thought hold so true! In the past I was attracted to men that were fun and sweet but didn't have a relationship with God. The more I place God at center, the better I am getting to know myself and what God wants for me! I am becoming attracted to completely different personalities than in the past.
As women, we are called to grow close to God and he will send us a soulmate or lead us to a chaste life. If we place our trust in Him and go to Him for love, we will not be steered wrong!
Love does not mean having a romantic relationship. Love is any action or relationship that reflects God. You are never alone. Jesus is always with you! <3
I encourage you all to read this book and soak up the truth about love. As for you men, I hope that you can find fulfillment in the men's section of this book~
God's love for us is so intimate and unconditional! No human love can compare! So you may be thinking Are you crazy? An intimate relationship with God?!?!? At first I thought this was far-fetched as well. But one book has changed the way I see love.
My friend Angela gave me this book a month ago and I cannot stop raving about it. It is called Theology of Her Body/Theology of His Body by Jason Evert. It describes the beauty of man and the beauty of woman and how to live the life of greatness that God has destined for you. This book has touched my heart in a way that no other book has before. It feels like God wrote it just for me!
In the foreword of the woman's portion of the book it says "It seems to me that women very often find it difficult to embrace the gift of their femininity because of wounds caused by men who have failed to honor them" --almost every woman I know has been hurt or taken advantage of by a man. This is not to say that all men exhibit these behaviors. But unfortunately many do. But not all hope is lost!! There is true love out there ladies!
I learned 4 key things from this book:
1) A woman is a mystery to be revealed
"When a woman veils her body with modest clothing, she is not hiding herself from men. On the contrary, she is revealing her dignity to them. A woman's body is not unapproachable. Rather, she is opened only to the one who is worthy to enter." As a woman I am worth pursuing. God shows each of us this by simply getting to know Him! When we take time to read our Bibles, pray and attend church services we are rewarded with His love and feeling His presence. Many of us know that this can take a lot of time and patience, however. But it is all SO worth it!!
"Instead of looking for the ideal man, become the ideal woman and let him look for you" ~
2) Relationships
"A woman of God is more than single. She's singular. Instead of defining herself by what she lacks- a relationship with a man- she defines herself by what she has; a relationship with God" What a beautiful quote!
One should first have a good relationship with God.God is always faithful and true! He will never fail you! Many women place their trust in men when they can't even place their trust in the Lord. If we cannot trust our creator, how on earth can we place our trust in a human who is flawed?
"Without a foundation of God's love, a woman is far more likely to fall for men who are unable to love her as God does"
3) Women are a beauty to be unveiled
Women are a reflection of heaven's beauty! No wonder men can't take their eyes off of us! If you are struggling with appreciation for your appearance- remember that God created you in His image.
4) The mission of the woman
"The closer you get to Him, the more you will become yourself" - This thought hold so true! In the past I was attracted to men that were fun and sweet but didn't have a relationship with God. The more I place God at center, the better I am getting to know myself and what God wants for me! I am becoming attracted to completely different personalities than in the past.
As women, we are called to grow close to God and he will send us a soulmate or lead us to a chaste life. If we place our trust in Him and go to Him for love, we will not be steered wrong!
Love does not mean having a romantic relationship. Love is any action or relationship that reflects God. You are never alone. Jesus is always with you! <3
I encourage you all to read this book and soak up the truth about love. As for you men, I hope that you can find fulfillment in the men's section of this book~
Immigration Service Trip
I was privileged to go on a service trip to Arizona and
Mexico with Newman Christ Church in St. Cloud MN over spring break. My eyes were opened to the realities of
immigration law and the border wall between Mexico and the United States. Going
into the trip I did not know what to expect at all. I definitely was not
prepared for the emotional toll the trip was going to place on my heart.
Although the trip was weight on my heart at times, my eyes were opened to
Christ everywhere.
In the Gospel John 20:19-31, the disciples are in fear of being
persecuted and arrested by those who crucified Jesus. Jesus comes to them and
says “Peace be with you” This response that Jesus gives them says so much in
just a few simple words. “Peace be with you” The disciples have a choice. They
can act on their feelings of hatred and anger towards those who persecuted
Jesus or they can choose to be peaceful and forgive.
While on this service trip I experienced an enormous amount
of peace, love and forgiveness. On the second night our group was in Arizona we
got to hear a presentation from a group called Scholarships A-Z. It is an
organization started by college students that connects undocumented students to
educational scholarships. After hearing
about the organization the students then shared with us their personal stories
about crossing the border from Mexico to Arizona. One story in particular
really touched me. A young man named Dario shared his difficult journey through
life and all of the uncertainty and fear that goes along with it. He praised
his parents and talked about how hard they have worked to provide for him and
the rest of his family. They crossed the border when he was young so they could
live a better life. Dario and his family live a life of such uncertainty. His
parents could be detained at any time and his family could be ripped apart.
Dario could choose to act out in anger. But instead he is working hard to help
other students in his situation and is doing such amazing things. Recently
Scholarships A-Z helped make tuition available to undocumented students through
the memorandum DACA which stands for Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals.
This group of students have been such an inspiration to me and I have seen
Christ work through all of them.
On the fourth day we went to an agency in Mexico called
Groupos Beta. It is an agency that offers basic services including shelter and
food to migrants in Mexico. We spoke with some of the migrants that had just been
deported back to Mexico after crossing the border into the U.S. A few of us got
to speak with a 17 year old boy who had just gotten back from crossing the
border. We asked him who he crossed the border with and he responded “The only
person that was with me was God.” As we continued talking with him he expressed
his concern for our safety. His kindness was so surprising to me.
As a United States citizen I am extremely blessed to be able to cross the border with almost no questions asked yet this boy has to risk being caught by border patrol and death in the desert to get into the United States. His worries in my eyes are abundant yet he showed heartfelt concern and kindness toward us. Jesus Christ was present in his heart and after this experience he is even more present in my heart. How can Jesus Christ be present in your heart this Easter season?
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